Sometimes I’m quiet because I’m observing.
Sometimes I’m quiet because I’m considering.
Sometimes I’m quiet because I’m frustrated. (Although being frustrated at a situation usually leads me to wanting to overtalk it out to solve a problem.)
Sometimes I’m quiet because I’m amazed.
Sometimes I’m quiet because I’m blissfully blessed.
I think of quiet streams, quiet roads, quiet babies sleeping.
But something nags, tugs, pulls.
Quiet (on the outside) doesn’t always mean peaceful.
I’ve been a bit quieter here on this blog for the recent time, but not quiet in other ways. (You can always join me monthly here and here.)
Honestly, some of this quiet here is unrest. As an introvert, sometimes when I struggle, I withdraw, I turn inward, I halt. But inside, I feel a churning, a searching, a clamoring to be able to solve.
Part of my problem also includes perfectionist tendencies. I could have said something better in a conversation, and I’m still thinking about it a week later. I feel a need to know how to help a situation turn out in a particular way. I kick and berate myself for not being able to accomplish a task in the now.
Perfectionism (in my experience) seeks control over at least a few aspects of life.
I want the quiet God gives. The peace, the slow (even among the fast), the overflowing joy.
And I have it. I do. (All because of grace.) But I let turmoil upset that quiet.
I need quiet. You need quiet, too.
“Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, ‘Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.’” – Mark 6:31
We need quiet to rest, re-center, regain.
How do we do that in the middle of appointments, schooling, laundry, bills, stress, holidays, wonderings, and wanderings?
I’m still learning. (There’s a reason why that clichéd“balancing act” is so tough.)
But I’m am finding I can sit even in noise, even in frustration, even in turmoil, and yes, even in happiness, and I can regain quiet with a breath, a gratitude uttered, another grace-given chance.
To captivate a Mary-heart to notice the moment of now and center on that now’s goodness and gift.
“’Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’” – Luke 10:41-42
Question for you: What’s your quiet most like? What do you do when you need quiet?